19.08.24
i need a healthy outlet for stuff and i think screaming to the void is fun enough, lets see if this helps me come to terms with my """"felings""" in a """"healthy"""" way as if playing mobile games isnt healthy enough.
lately ive been really into playing this discord game (yes, discord has games), its about a farm and you merge 3 of a kind to get more shit, its fun its mindless, its destroying my life for the last week, today i managed to not play at all but only bc ive been banging my head against the keyboard on notepad+ writting these entries and fixing shit around
sometimes my friends get on call on mute or deafen and just. play, for minutes, or hours, the first day we stayed up till 2 am playing and the next day one of the logged on from work while attending clients while farming, thats insane i think
another funny development about me playing hthis is that ive gonne back to making suicide jokes, like when i pick up coins i was saving to merge with other so i could double my profit or when i fuck up my combos by mergin th eworng shit, and its like, catahrtic of sorts to say "im killing myself" over inane shit that does not matter like missclicking on a game coin, but as a popular tumblr post likes to remind me "i must not make killing myself jokes, killing myself jokes are the me killer", so ive been trying to get into the habit or changing it up but its hard man
ill work on it