last updated 19.08.24
mobile games
Back in december 2023 i starded playing sonic forces speed battle, a couple months before that i had downloaded the clasic sonic games on my phone+ sonic dash, the thing about sonic dash is that its a very basic game not a lot to write home about, its an endless runner that allows you to unlock characters to run with via collecting cards in game, also you restore zones for the flickies and rickies that you save when you destroy enemies, its a very casual game and i liked it enough to play every once in a while when i was working on my thesis
Now heres the thing about dash, when a new character drops on dash, it also drops on sonic forces speed battle, a game i had Not Installed, but when i saw there was a christmas even with a... special character lets say. I had to install inmediately.
#tiny when sonic with a cute fit
Well, i dont think u quite understand how i was doing back then, what the fuck is this, are you seeing this shit, this is the cuntiest outfit ive seen him in , what the fuck like actually, what the fuck
i honmestly think i died a little bit when i saw it. truly, i loveeee when they give sonic boots he loos so cute iwth those, also hes got snowflakes on his soles, SNOFLAKES, dude. AND AND THE CROWNNNNN . THATS INSANE, the snow on his quills.... c'est maqnifique.
Anyway i started playing sonic forces right? its a fun game i like that theres a good amount of characters tho choose from (once u unlock them) and that theyr attacks are varied enough that you have to actually switch up your startegy depending on the runner you use. very fun game! but the amount of fun i have while on races isnt why im talking about this game
oh? you though im here for the gameplay? thats cute, and i havent even talked about the clown but no. me having fun over races isnt why i keep playing
#oh my fucking god
Whys he kinda serving here wtf
im so sick sick i tell you, do you know how long events to unlock new characters are? A WEEK do you know how many card u need to unlock a special character? 300 do you know how many cards at minimun u can get every 4 hours that the missions refresh at a time? ***5****
do the math i dare you actually dont do that anyway im craxy im stupid i unlock new sonic variats by the second day bc im coocoo bananas over him, i think with my dick when i see his stupid fucking cute outfits, its tragic man i put alarmas ALARMS to play games and grind for extra chests so i can level them up faster bc the thing aboput forces characters is that at lvl 1 they kinda suck ass so they have to get to level 4 until u can actually do some reañl damage, and if you wanna kill yr fucking oponents and leave them inm the dust thats a level 8 and the cards needed to level them up grow twice over so i hope you like throwing cash at yr screen for jpegs!! oh didnt i tell you? theres microtransactions in this game.
#lesbian bundle
I dont really mind microtransactions in games actually, theyre white noise to me, a game asks me to spend money and i dooo nooott seee itt, even if i really want to levele up my little guy, i work hard for every single card i get, thats my true gachja warrior life, i used to play cookie run yknow, i stopped bc the fact that i wasnt spending money doenst mean i wasnt losing on other resources, like sleep, or sanity, my family has a story of alcoholism and im prone to getting addicted to stuff, i dont play games for a reason yknow,, i only just recently started playing games again, and fuckingm, sonic dressing up in cunty fits is not helping man, ive got a disease in the brain, i need 8 billlion hours of sleep and a lobotomy.
i think im ready to talk about the clown.
#the fucking clown
lets talk about the clown i wanna talk about the clown let me tell you-
when i tell you my health suffered to get this guy
scroll back up, did you see that, that second picture, thats no the forces layout for a locked charctaer, noooo, thats Dash yes you may wonder why after spending a couple of days killing myself over a clown.jpeg that i would rest and bask in the glow of having gotten his bellchime, cladded fool, but i didnt why? because i wanted to see a 360 of his model.
in speed battle you mostly see yr runners from behind, but youre too busy *playing the game* to care about the back of tehir outfits you know? but you know where you see them do a funny little twirls and gay little pose while running? with plenty time to watch?, sonic dash babyyy
so i had to unlock him in dash too,w h a t e v e r
#i have to die about it
well, you know how i unlocked jester two days into the event? at the third day i went to ao3 bc i couldnt take it anyomore i had to see what ppl were making, i had to, see. in my mind the characters in dash are less costumes and more like au shit, like the knights and the rockstars you know, or movie and lego, some characters ovs share universes and others are fun "what ifs" well heres the thing about the clown, is that people like putting him with the satbk setting, mostly bc they want to play dolls with him and lancelot, i get it man i wrote a fic about it
but mostly i saw king/jester stuff because turns out theres a king shadow render from another game i dint play, wild right, anyway when i went to ao3 to look there was like, king/jester stuff, but only like 3 works, that couldnt be right tho. that would mean no one is as obssesed with the guy as i am, in the very niche pairing i like, with a very specific characterization i think about-
in my beautiful mind, jester is a strong a revelious hedgehog, a little older than normal sonic, i like toying with the idea that he serves king eggmans court and is trying to fucking murder him in his sleep and is forced to play the part of a pet meanwhile, but most likely i like the idea of a satbk scenarior where after sonic leaves a new "arthur" comes and takes his place, like hes sonic shaped only because teh real deal fit the mold so well, jester in his place is the true forgotten alternate here, he never would have like to stay in a stuffy place like that but he would get dragged to the castle kicking and screaming as a common thief and the new arthur would recognize his potential, but instead of making him a knight he would do something else, in a way arent fools the ones with the most power? they dont owe respect to anyone and theyre the first to go into battle leading the charge, keeping up morale and playing psychological warfase, this jester is funny and cute and his laugh twinkles like the same bells his outfit is adorned with but hes made of harder stuff than the soft fabric his headpiece if made out of. if you hug him he honks.
#get to it
im so fucking tired
